When I was five I decided that I was going to be a teacher. I was quite clear from early on that my mind had been made up and that it wasn't going to change. I know that it had a lot to do with my mom teaching at the school I was attending, but who wouldn't want to follow in their parents footsteps? They were (and of course still are) our role models. We thought everything that they did was absolutely amazing and flawless. They were mom and dad. The most powerful people in the eyes of a five year old. But then... We grew up.
First of all, I'm not trying to imply that we push our parents out of the picture at this point. We simply form a mind of our own. This is when we drop our idea that "wasn't going to change" (ironic isn't it?) and pick up a new one that falls into our point of view.
For me, I've dropped wanting to be a teacher and have picked up wanting to be in the film industry. I really love editing and directing and I thought that I had the rest of my life planned out.. Go to university, study film, start small, land a great job with a big company, make lots of money.. But let's be realistic, it's not that easy. Nothing's that easy.
Now onto the next stage: graduation.
I still have a good year ahead of me before this landmark in life. A year goes by fast though and I need to start applying for universities soon. But why am I so hesitant? I'm not nervous to graduate, I'm ready to. So what is it?
I keep changing my mind. I've discovered how much I enjoy writing in the past few months and I've started thinking I want become a writer. But then I look back and I see "film" and as soon as I'm close to letting go, I hold onto it.
I know that there are options for me, such as the joint communications program, but I can't figure out what it is that's disabling me from making up my mind!
With that said, I'm assuming I'm not the only one that has felt this way. Maybe it's the fact that there are so many options, or maybe it's simply a factor of not wanting to let that last little bit of our childhood go. Whatever it is, it's there. Not to torture us, not to frighten us, but to lead us in the right direction.
I'm not quite sure where life will take me in the future. All that I can guarantee is that it's going to be quite a long, emotional and thrilling ride.